Saturday, February 27, 2010

Dear One Who Cannot be Named (Not Voldemort)

Dear Neighbor,

I know, we live in an alley in Pittsburgh, I know that there are sometimes crack deals that go down a door down, and I know that the yelling at all hours of the night must keep you up. You must remember, dear--DEAR neighbor, that I too live on this humble street. I know how tough it is not to go to the window each time, "Fuck that shit..." is yelled to someone on the street, or when a high pitched whistle is rang at 3 a.m., I too want to run and look at what could be happening just on the street below. My interest has been peaked many times that a sweet yet weird odor has wafted up to my windows. Don't forget Dear Neighbor, that I too know what it is like to live on this street.

These are all little problems compared with what you have now brought to my-LITERAL-door step. I can forget the drug deals, I can push aside the yells at all hours, I cannot even complain about band practice which is usually on Thursdays but is now making an appearance on Thursdays as well as Sundays, all these things are trifle. It is what makes this neighborhood, no this street, have its individual flavor.

My problem, and what I cannot forgive, is, who the fuck allows their dog to shit outside my car door.Not only one door but both MY PASSENGER AND DRIVER side door. The only two doors I have on my car. If it was on one side--the passenger side--maybe I could over look it. I could just brush it off as a little extra spice for where I live, but on both sides!! COME ON PEOPLE.

This note is to you Mr. or Mrs. I-let-my-dog-shit-outside-people's-doors, I know that times are tough, I know that the weather has made the city a living hell hole, I understand all this. But if you need something to amuse yourself, or if you are that goddamn lazy to clean up the shit yourself, how about you do it somewhere away from my car? Or even maybe away from at LEAST one of the doors?

Neighbors if anything should at least be considerate.

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