Thursday, May 27, 2010

It is begining to get old.

I am bored--with everything. Ugh....

I love being at my apartment and doing things that I love to do. BUT I want something more in life. Before I moved down to Pittsburgh and before everything, I used to be fearless. Something happened along that way that I became scared of doing anything except for nothing. It might sound crazy but that is how it is.

I became too scared to be with someone I was with, too scared to find a career path that I could concentrate on, and too scared of the future. The present was an ugly thing--something I could not control. I became stationary---stagnant. I drifted into a nothingness that I thought I could control. But I know now that I can not and it is pulling me down to fast.

I am looking into schools. My friend A was telling me about this program that she looked into--to become a reading specialist. I liked the sound of that--a lot. I love to read so why not pursue a career that would help others find the passion, the love, that I get when I pick up a book.

I can not be scared anymore about the future, what could, or might happen. I have to just be ready for it and be happy that I have what I have. I am just getting the information sent to me from a few schools now. I will meet with an adviser and see if this is for me. If not--I will not be afraid--I will find what I am supposed to do.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


I am so excited. Memorial day weekend is the weekend that the POOL IS FINALLY OPEN!!! CH said that he had a surprise for me that weekend and I was racking my brain to decide what it was. He said it was special and would make me really happy. Hmmmm.... No idea. While we were out at dinner I was still bothering him about it. Then I started thinking, what happens on Memorial day.

1. the beaches officially open
2. waldermeer is finally really open

I screamed at dinner--and then shouted, "OMG the pool is open!"

I guessed it. But I feel that this will be something that we will get into more fights about. CH hates the fact that I am unemployed, granted I hated it when he was unemployed for over a year too, so I understand. The fact that I could be going to the pool every day while he is at work kills him.

He wants me to get a job instead of going to the pool and just being "f-unemployed". I would love to get a job. Under the circumstance that I love the next job that I get. I want one that will pay well and that I like going to, those are the only requirements that I need. Until that time comes then I will stay unemployed and continue to do things in the day in the city that I never had the chance to do before. :-)

Is this selfish of me? I need to know. I pay my bills and have extra money for fun things. I do not understand the objection to be being on unemployment. It is there for the reason that if someone gets laid off---they can have money to live on. I am looking for work, and I work a part-time job to supplement it. Is what I am doing wrong??? I have no issues with it...maybe I should hear from others, other than CH who is very irritated by it.

I still can't wait to go to the pool!!!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dear 91A--I adore you

For some reason I love riding the bus. Maybe it comes from the fact that in Erie the public transportation isn't---lets say---around. It comes and goes but there really isn't a mass transit. When I moved down here it took me awhile to ride the bus. I finally did it ALONE one day and I loved it ever since.

I always have funny stories about the bus, about waiting for the bus, and about the people in the bus. I usually just send my friend E a text about what is going on, but this was too good to pass up writing about.

I get on the bus at my regular stop at 43rd street--nothing unusual there. It is standing room only so I get to stand in the front and wait to see if anyone gets off. The Man in the Blue Blazer points to me two seats that are free and has me sit down in one and him in the other. We are not even to 40th street yet--so I consider this a win. On the corner of 40th and Butler is where my story starts.

A young mother carrying a lot of bags from Rite Aid gets on the bus with her four year old child. The Man in the Blue Blazer gets up for her or her child. I am trying to help her with her bags and she is thanking me. I notice her eyes (red and glazed) and her way of swaying side to side but I try to ignore it because, I am trying to be a better person.

She then starts going on about the fact that she has a two week old at home and it is so hard to deal with groceries, a four year old, and a two week old. I get this would suck. Having no kids myself and a car I can not relate fully, but her looking younger than I and having two children--that must be hard.

This woman (I really should refer to as little girl) who I now will refer to as--Orange Shoes then sits down next to me. She proceeds to talk to the people around her and the people around start talking to her and her child. The kid is a girl with a pink shirt on carrying a huge bounce ball. Then the mother proceeds to have this conversation. Up until this point I was just like--ambivalent to her and her daughter. Nothing great nothing exciting, then it was like hitting gold.

Orange Shoes, "She might look like she is good but she isn't. She is a bad girl and I don't like it. Yesterday she went up into my bed and pulled all the covers around her. That girl would not get out of the bed when I wanted to sleep in it. I have a queen size bed. We both could have slept there but no, she refused to have me in there. I had to go to the couch. I was laying there for like five minutes when I thought--who is this four year old think she is, that is my bed, and no kid is going to push me out of my own bed....


I went right up to that bedroom and beat her right then and there. I beat her pretty hard too. You can see the bruises still if you look."

Orange Shoes then proceeds to lift up her daughters arms and legs to show the people on the bus the bruises that she has on her because of this beating. At this point my mouth is wide open, I couldn't look because I was in shock. It then got better.

Orange Shoes, "It hurt didn't it? I bet you won't be trying that again huh?"


Pink Shirt then starts to talk to her mother, "Ma can I have some potato chips?"

Orange Shoes, "Why would I give you MY potato chips when you didn't share any of your gum with me. They are my chips, I would share but you didn't give me any gum when I asked you for some. I mean--why would I want to give you my food when you couldn't even give me ONE stick of gum. Then you stuck all that gum in your mouth at once. You should have known better. You should have known not to stick that much gum in your mouth."

Her child is four years old. Why didn't this "mother" tell her child not to do it, you know be a parent? It was just too much for me, between the bruises, the beating, the gum, the not sharing food with your child it was too much for me to handle.

I also liked the comment of her telling her daughter that beauty is pain...then going on about how her daughter will understand once she had to start pulling her "bushy ass eyebrows".

Then Orange Shoes fell asleep on my shoulder--perfect end to my bus ride.


While creeping on facebook I clicked on this link on my friend's profile. It was titled the 10 worst paying college degrees. Of course being an unemployed college graduate I just had to take a look.

What was funny is the comment section of the article. Where anyone who wants could write about the subject. What brought tears to my eyes as I read it was this little gem. For those who click the link I am sure--SURE you will find what I am talking about.

What others are saying

  • This English major is doing just fine!
    @LiberalArts-- Both my husband and I are doing just fine with English degrees, thank you very much. He's in sales and I'm in public health. You can go anywhere with a (good) English degree!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG. This is hilarious. My response is this.

Dear Betsy--

Where are you buying the crack you are smoking? Because you lady are living in a different universe. Congratulations on your sense of security while looking at the world with rose colored glasses. I hope one day I will feel the same. Hell, I wish someday MOST of the English majors that I know will feel how you feel. But that time is not now. So go back to your perfect job in PUBLIC HEALTH (what???) and enjoy using your degree to clean up people's shit. I bet when you were reading Chaucer back in the day you dreamed about being in public health. Congratulations on achieving your dreams.


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

It's Complicated

I get it. I am not a 50 year old woman that has gone through a divorce, I can not relate in that way. I do not need another person telling me that. It will not change my opinion, I loved "It's Complicated".

I do not care that I could not relate to a woman that has terrible things happen to her, like a husband cheating on her and then marrying the girl that he cheated on her with. Oh wait, I was cheated on and then my boyfriend started dating the girl he was with saying to me, "well you have the problem, so I'm with her now." I can relate to that. And I can relate to a relationship ending and then trying to get it back because the memory of it was just so great, after awhile, that why wouldn't you want to try again, only to have it FAIL.

I can relate, I think when others look at it this way, they could relate too. Do not just see two older actors and think, no never been there because really, we all have. This movie is great on so many levels. Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin are amazing in this movie. They have chemistry and show a sort of togetherness that I haven't seen since I last watched Sherlock Holmes. They are good in this movie together and play off of each other.

I laughed so hard when this movie was on that I stopped it so that CH and I could watch it together. He like many others said that he is not a "50 year old man so he didn't have interest" I watched the rest and wanted to share it with everyone. It has great one liners like, "(Alec Baldwin's character) And I like that you stopped getting bikini waxes. You've gone native. I was into it!", and the transition to what the family felt pre//post divorce was touching. I've been there myself so I could relate to the children in this movie and their discomfort and grief over what was and what could have been.

I loved it, and I would encourage everyone out there to watch it---but watch it with an open mind and see the core issues and love it for what it is, a funny movie.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Have you ever tried to bath a kitty?

The kitty that STILL has no name--was bathed the other day. It was a treat. I have never washed a cat and really, it was something to witness. CH tried to just take her in the shower since whenever he showers she likes to look in and walk around. This did not work at all. She clawed up the shower curtain and was literally hanging off the rod//ceiling. I would have taken pictures but--CH was also naked in the shower (he yells when I do stuff like that).

We lather her up and then I take her upstairs to the sink to wash off. While in my bath towel, which was hard to hold the towel up and then wash Stink Butt. She was a lot better in the sink than in the shower. When I tried to dry her off she looked like a little rat. I laughed so hard. I have never seen a wet cat other than the one my one friend B has on his facebook page. It was the best.

I can not wait to give her another bath down the road.

Btw--she now smells like Freesias.

Monday, May 10, 2010

You moldy bread---are sneaky

Here I am at the local Pgh coffee shop using the Internet. The FREE Internet, not like at a nation wide coffee shop that makes you pay for Internet, but that is not the point. I always get myself a drink while sitting here typing at my computer--it is only fair, free Internet is never "really" free. I try to bring some bagels to the coffee shop because I only get drinks, not food when I have food at my apartment. Granted--I have drinks at my apartment too BUT lugging my computer and a drink would be heavy and I am lazy and my shoulder hurts.

Today I get in my usual spot and I go and order my iced tea -- no sugar-- and a side of cream cheese. Only a side of cream cheese because I did not want to bring my cream cheese out of the fridge and have it sit here at the coffee shop. The Barista gave me a look that suggested insanity when I assured here that "yes, I only want a side of cream cheese." I then go back to my computer and start eating my bagel. Yummy-- dipping it into the cream cheese container, I did not remember to get a knife and this was just easier, remember my shoulder hurts. I eat not really looking at the bagel because I am "creeping" online. Then I look down... While I am looking down I ask myself the question, I got a raisin bagel? Hmm... I don't usually buy bagels with fruit in them. I look closely not only are their raisin looking things on and in my bagel, it is covered with a green mold.

Ugh... So I have consumed about 1/3 of my moldy bagel and not only was I disgusted by the fact that I ate that much of it, I was also concerned when I thought, "well I've gone this far--what if I just scrape the rest off."

I put the bagel in the bag right then and there and threw it away. I now have a container of cream cheese next to me. I was thinking about just scooping it up and plopping it into my mouth--since I am hungry. Or do I go back up to the Barista, who already gave me a creepy look when I just ordered a little tub of cream cheese, and ask for a bagel? A bagel about 20 minutes after I ordered the cream cheese....

Apparently this has happened to other people before. I googled, not because I was concerned but just because, Moldy---and what popped up was I ATE A MOLDY BAGEL. One of the links told me not to worry. So I feel fine now that the Internet doctors out there have given me their OK. Thank you YAHOO answers for helping me with all facets of my life.

This is not as bad as it could have been. When I was living with my friend B he made himself a sandwich and it contained maggots in the bread. HE ATE IT ALL. I came home and I thought he was going to die, well I thought I was going to die while laughing at him and simultaneously throwing up. MAGGOTS. Ugh... All I ate was penicillin, he ate fish bait.

Oh life.... how you bring these little joys to me daily.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen

"The Corrections" is a book that I started reading back when I had a job. I started reading it after I stole it from CH, because I needed something to read on my breaks. After I lost my job and started f-unemployment I somehow "lost" it in my car. Just recently I picked it up again and now I wonder how I allowed this little gem to evade my grasp for so long.

I am only about one hundred pages in and I love it. This book makes me laugh really hard--just because. The interactions between the mother character and her daughter--point on. And then just the mother and the family in general--it is just great.

When I get deeper into this book I will tell everyone what I think and what I loved--with page notations. But for now, everyone just go out and read it.

Read more about it here.

Friday, May 7, 2010


Kitty bitty ate my fish. I want to ... grrrrr.......

Not cute little kitty witty anymore.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


CH got us a kitty. Yeah, I know...a kitty. It was defiantly a shock to me. Not that I haven't whined about wanting a kitty, but the fact that he just said, "ok" to one is beyond me.

When I first asked if he would like to adopt a kitty he told me, "no." He didn't want the responsibility that comes with having an animal. Ok, I was just bored at home and wanted something to take up my time.

CH then came home with two Beta fish. He told me that these can keep me company. I know what you might be thinking, fish--they are decoration not actual pets. I love fish though, love them so much. I set up their tanks and got creative with where I was going to put them etc, etc. Named one Red Fish one Blue Fish--I think everyone will know why. (If not, one was red one was blue.)

CH said that if I took care of the fish then maybe he will think about a kitty. Whatever, I was happy with the fish--for a little bit. Then I started asking again for a kitty, once again--"no."

Then out of the blue his brother calls to say that since they are moving they have to get rid of their kitty. I wanted to go and pick out one from the pound, but I agreed to at least look at this kitty.

Super cute. And when they asked if we wanted her I paused. CH then took opportunity to then jump and say--"Now? Sure!" With an astounded look on my face--we now have a kitty.

I am still not sure how I felt about Kitty (who still doesn't have a name). It is weird to actually have a pet that isn't a fish. I've never had a pet before that was just mine. It is a weird feeling.

I got her a cute little kitty outfit, a cute kitty collar, and a cute little bitty kitty bed. She is a nice attachment to the house, and soon I will get used to having a playful kitty around.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I love it.

I am starting to appreciate my street more and more. Literally my neighbors are hilarious. On one end they are screaming and yelling at once another then the next they are asking you how your apartment is and if you are enjoying the weather.

I haven't had the internet in a few days so this is my story of the weekend.

Around 2 a.m. screaming is heard from outside.

"Rita!!! Rita!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you do this to me?!?!? I love you Rita. I LOOOOVVVEEE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

Pause for CH to poke me in the back and look at me to giggle.


This went on for a bit, but I fell asleep to the sweet sweet sounds of love ringing out in the air.

I wonder if my neighbors thought the same thing of me, giggling and eye rolling when CH came to my apartment (before we lived together) with his guitar and sang to me outside of my window. I didn't want to let him in because it was embarrassing--and when I did, my neighbors thought he climbed in the window--and came to the door to make sure I wasn't getting robbed or raped.

That is what is amazing. Neighbors looking after one another on one hand, and then them screaming at each other in the other. I love Pittsburgh.