Thursday, May 27, 2010

It is begining to get old.

I am bored--with everything. Ugh....

I love being at my apartment and doing things that I love to do. BUT I want something more in life. Before I moved down to Pittsburgh and before everything, I used to be fearless. Something happened along that way that I became scared of doing anything except for nothing. It might sound crazy but that is how it is.

I became too scared to be with someone I was with, too scared to find a career path that I could concentrate on, and too scared of the future. The present was an ugly thing--something I could not control. I became stationary---stagnant. I drifted into a nothingness that I thought I could control. But I know now that I can not and it is pulling me down to fast.

I am looking into schools. My friend A was telling me about this program that she looked into--to become a reading specialist. I liked the sound of that--a lot. I love to read so why not pursue a career that would help others find the passion, the love, that I get when I pick up a book.

I can not be scared anymore about the future, what could, or might happen. I have to just be ready for it and be happy that I have what I have. I am just getting the information sent to me from a few schools now. I will meet with an adviser and see if this is for me. If not--I will not be afraid--I will find what I am supposed to do.

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