Thursday, July 8, 2010

The female condom--a.k.a "A trash bag for my female parts"

I recently wrote a blog about my experience at Adagio and the fact that I crammed my purse full of free condoms (male and female).

This is my response to the female condom that I was so excited to try out.

Hell no, never again.

First off I took it out of the package and felt it. Gross. The FC was very lubed up--which was fine, but then it started dripping all over the bed--not good. According to the directions there are two rings on the condom and the top ring was to be twisted then gently inserted in.

Did not happen that way at all. The top ring was hard plastic and I'm talking like, Fisher Price little kids, hard plastic. It did not want to bend at all. In the picture it shows just one hand being used to push it in and bend it. Wrong, two hands was necessary. I tried bending it just in the middle and then the top but it was so slippery that it was hard to get it to stay bent and to insert it correctly.

I finally just pushed it in and tried to get it as far back as I could. I could feel that gross top ring inside of me while I put it in me and when we were having sex. The other ring was just as the picture showed, hanging out around my lips. It not only looked weird but you had to hold it in place during the insertion and during any thrusting because it tended to slip off or even move out of place. Which then caused more disturbance because I could then REALLY feel that top ring inside of me.

It was like a trash bag lining my vagina. I did not like it at all. Then when we were done having sex, getting it out meant that I had to pull that entire ring out without it being bent. That did not feel good at all.

Some websites  state some advantages and disadvantages of the female condom.

"Opportunity for women to share the responsibility for the condoms with their partners"
"Female condoms can make noises during intercourse"

Hooray! We can finally have the responsibility for condoms. I mean why not? Guess having to carry around a child for nine months isn't enough, lets add on buying and wearing condoms. Oh and for the second statement, yeah it made noises, weird funny noises. Added to the holding it in place and the funny noises, the fact that I did not get off this time was expected.

My favorite website for information Wikipedia, states that there are other things women can try if condoms do not do it.
  • The Barrier
    • Coverage / How it is held in place: It fits over the vulva and perineum and is held in place with thick elastic straps that encircle the women's upper legs. The tube-shaped pouch is about 1½ times larger and 2 times thicker than a male condom. The penis never directly touches the woman's outer or inner genitalia [14]
    • Material: latex
  • The Bikini Condom
    • Coverage / How it is held in place: "looks like a G-string panty"
    • Effectiveness: thicker and less slippage than male condoms, a breakage rate of 0.5%, compared to 1-2% for male condoms
    • Advantages: condom pouch can be automatically introduced into the vagina with coitus, reported heightened sensation for women
    • Cost—reuse: "can be used 5-10 times

Weird that condoms for men are so simple yet for women we are reduced to things that strap around our legs, look like panties, or just hard plastic trash bags. Something should be done in the way of helping women have sex responsibly as well as having it comfortably. 

Over all I am not pleased with what the female condom had to offer me. It felt too gross, was too hard to handle, and holding the end of the bag while having sex was just to much.


  1. I might add that in the title it does say Female Condom. How does one write about the FC without actually using it? How do you know anything without actually trying it out during sex?

  2. So what was the male perspective, it may have been implied or I might be inferring this but I gathered that CH orgasmed near the culmination of your sparked wildfire of passion.

    I would think that the discomfort would be enough to prevent one from climaxing. Was this the case? or was the discomfort tolerable enough for one to enjoy herself with a "trash bag" in her vagina?

    Please don't take me as being argumentative, but I must take objection in response to your statement "Something should be done in the way of helping women have sex responsibly as well as having it comfortably."

    There are other contraceptive devices and pharmaceuticals that are readily available to women and men. I can only assume, since condoms are the most inexpensive and readily available, you mean there should be more inexpensive contraceptive methods and wider accessibility for all income ranges.

    Wikipedia has a comparison of common contraceptives.

    This article in nature discusses the cost, availability, and effectiveness of contraceptives with regards to youth, but may be applicable to the low income population as well:

    I understand that my argument does not take into consideration disease prevention, but only the male and female condoms are known effective STD prevention devices.

  3. CH did not enjoy the experience as much as one would think. He also stated when I kept on asking him questions about how it felt, what it was like on his part, and if he enjoyed it vs other methods, he replied "I am not your science experiment."

    And he started wondering if I initiated this just to write a blog post. Which isn't true, but it isn't false.

    As for my statement, I do not know if I can 100% go back on it. Birth control methods for women involve medicines that interrupt hormones, get implanted into the body, stick to your flesh, and so much more.

    I guess I meant to imply that it seems far easier and safer for a man to put on a condom than for women to protect themselves.

    The FC was not comfortable, could not be put on easily, and felt awkward when in. Male condoms while I understand are still a hindrance to "feeling everything" are easier to put on and do not slip around and have to be held in place.

    I just want something that I can do that does not involve pills. Even low dose BC is still a dose of hormones that disrupt the normal flow of a woman's body.

    Maybe I do have to try more methods to see if one works better than the other, but for the ones that I have tried it seems that the male condom makes the most sense. And it is the easiest.

    And I never find opinions or discussions "argumentative". In fact I rather enjoy looking at the comments and seeing a different side of things.

  4. We have a long way to go with birth control in general, and I wish it were the type of issue that we'd spend money on researching, at least the physical barrier methods you are talking about. Alas, that's unlikely.

    I'm afraid many women are going to be forced to do what Russian women have done, which is re-use condoms when fresh ones are not available at a reasonable price or at all. Gross sounding, I know. But times are tough out there, and looks like they'll be tougher soon enough. Be sure to stock up now.


    P.S. the link to Peak Oil Blues is the old site that got eaten by cyber-aliens. While it does re-direct, I've written something in the last 11 months.

    It may not be worth it, but if it is, the current URL is ""
    the .com was replaced with .org to keep the site up and running.

    Great post!

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